50+ funny dating quotes that will make you laugh

 

50+ funny dating quotes that will make you laugh, cringe, and nod in agreement!

 

Funny Dating Quotes About Relationships

1.   "Love is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand." – Unknown

2.   "A relationship is just two people constantly asking each other what they want to eat until one of them dies." – Unknown

3.   "Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park." – Unknown

4.   "A good relationship is when one person is always right, and the other is the boyfriend." – Unknown

5.   "My girlfriend told me I need to be more affectionate… so now I have two girlfriends." – Unknown

 

Funny First Date Quotes

6.   "First dates are just job interviews with drinks." – Unknown

7.   "Going on a first date is like going on a roller coaster—thrilling but also makes you want to throw up." – Unknown

8.   "Dating after 30 is like trying to find the least damaged item in a thrift store." – Unknown

9.   "My last first date went so well, we never had a second." – Unknown

10.                     "I like long romantic walks… especially when they are away from bad dates." – Unknown

 

Funny Online Dating Quotes

11.                     "Online dating is just speed shopping for humans." – Unknown

12.                     "I met my soulmate online… but they live in a different country, don’t have a passport, and need me to send them money." – Unknown

13.                     "I tried online dating. Turns out my soulmate is a bot." – Unknown

14.                     "Swiping left more than a windshield wiper in a storm." – Unknown

15.                     "Online dating: where you realize how many people take bathroom mirror selfies." – Unknown

 

Funny Love Quotes

16.                     "Love is sharing your popcorn." – Charles Schultz

17.                     "Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch." – Cathy Carlyle

18.                     "True love is like a ghost—everyone talks about it, but few have seen it." – Unknown

19.                     "The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so." – Dorothy Parker

20.                     "Love is being stupid together." – Paul Valéry

 

Funny Breakup Quotes

21.                     "Never laugh at your girlfriend’s choices. You’re one of them." – Unknown

22.                     "Relationships are like fat people—most of them don’t work out." – Unknown

23.                     "Love is like a backache. It doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there." – George Burns

24.                     "Breaking up is like getting a bad haircut… it grows back eventually." – Unknown

25.                     "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, it means no one else wanted them either." – Unknown

 

Funny Quotes About Being Single

26.                     "I’m not single. I’m romantically challenged." – Unknown

27.                     "Being single means getting to know people without feeling guilty." – Unknown

28.                     "I’m single because I was born that way." – Mae West

29.                     "You’re single, not alone. There’s a difference." – Unknown

30.                     "The best part of being single? You can sleep diagonally on the bed." – Unknown

 

Funny Flirting Quotes

31.                     "Are you French? Because Eiffel for you." – Unknown

32.                     "I told my crush I like them. Now we avoid eye contact for eternity." – Unknown

33.                     "Flirting is like a game of chess, except the board is on fire, and the pieces are made of marshmallows." – Unknown

34.                     "My flirting skills are like a WiFi signal—strong at times, nonexistent when needed." – Unknown

35.                     "Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears… and my confidence too." – Unknown

 

Funny Quotes About Marriage and Commitment

36.                     "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a slow internet connection to see who they really are." – Will Ferrell

37.                     "A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers." – Robert Quillen

38.                     "Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life." – Unknown

39.                     "My wife told me to take her somewhere expensive… so I took her to the gas station." – Unknown

40.                     "Marriage is when dating goes from 'You look amazing!' to 'You’re wearing that?'" – Unknown

 

Funny Quotes about Love Expectations vs. Reality

41.                     "Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener." – Pauline Thomason

42.                     "Real love means arguing about where to eat and still choosing pizza." – Unknown

43.                     "I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it." – Unknown

44.                     "Love is like WiFi—sometimes it connects, sometimes it doesn’t." – Unknown

45.                     "True love is when your partner still loves you after seeing all your bad selfies." – Unknown

 

Funny Quotes about Dating Struggles

46.                     "Dating in your 30s is like trying to find a parking spot—everyone is taken or the ones available are just too far away." – Unknown

47.                     "I don’t need a Valentine. I need a nap and maybe some tacos." – Unknown

48.                     "Dating is like fishing. Sometimes you catch a great one, sometimes you catch an old boot." – Unknown

49.                     "Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely." – Unknown

50.                     "Dating me is like a rollercoaster—fun, scary, and slightly nauseating." – Unknown